Serpent in Paradise

The bright gleam of a sunny day

The gloom of a dark demise

The green grass, a pink orchid

A serpent in paradise.

The shimmering blue of a hopeful ocean

A wrecked ship full of dead knights

The golden grains of holy sand

A serpent in paradise.

The red of a rose, the pale of an old man

The death of a rainbow butterfly

The blush of a candle, the pink of my love

A serpent in paradise.

Distance.

I pick up my phone and my fingers move

Like they feel and know what to do

They dial your number in a second

Like it has been a life long trend.

And then meets my ears your voice so rose

Miles away…but I feel you so close,

Then you give me a baby treat

Endow me with your love so sweet!

It so makes me wanna be with you…

Show you that my love is true.

Hold you in my arms and sway

Kiss your lips – night and day

Hug you tight whenever you’re around

Stare you in eyes, keep you love-bound.

Play with your cuffs and hold your finger

Keep you close and let your smell linger

Run my tips in your hair

Keep you like a pearl..show you I care.

Be mine…you’re the prince of my dreams.

Cannot stay away any longer it seems!

Come to me and hold your babe.

Give my heart some peace it craves.

Rip open my soul and you’ll see

You and me – will always be we.

20t June 2009

11.40 AM

Tu maane ya na maane Dildaara

Rab bande di jaat ikko
Jyon kapade di jat hai roon
Kapade vich jyon roon hai lukaya
Yoon bande vich too
Aape bolen aap bulave
Aap kare hoon hoon

Tu mane ya na mane Dildara
Asaan ne tennu Rab manya

Das hor keda Rab da dawara
Asaan ne tennu Rab manya

Apne tan ki khaak utaari
Tab ye ishq ki manzil paayi
Meri saanson ka bole iktaara
Asaan ne tennu Rab manya

Tujh bin jeena bhi kya jeena
Teri chaukhat mera madeena
Kahin aur na sajda gawara
Asaan ne tennu Rab manya

Haste haste har gham sehna
Raazi teri raza mei rehna
Tune mujhe sihaya hai yaara
Asaan ne tennu Rab manya

-Wadali Brothers.

Fate~

There's a time in life when one wants to surrender. Since he is too happy or too sad or too demised to extents. At this time he seems to forget anything that could relieve him. He remembers the lost. Just the lost. He cannot accept the fact that it was fate, things had to happen that way. In such times, I repeat to myself, again, yet again, Whatever happens - happens for good.

My mere Life!

Given all taken nothing,
A shy morning humming a string,
Even if it is a new, bright day,
My black heart will always be full of dismay.
Let’s talk not of the green villages,
Haven’t seen any of them since ages,
Talk about the hard, harsh stones,
Talk about misery and pain unknown.
Once there was- a heart to bond,
A smile to glow on face and beyond,
A hand to hold and walk along,
Warmth to wrap a sacred song,
But again, wasn’t I left alone!?
Sensitized, hurt and pain prone!
Inside hollow, outside low,
No tears, no panic, but a ceaseless woe.
Oh pray! To Thee I pray!
Let the clouds of despair fade…
Show me some rose, melt the knife,
Give it some gold- my mere life!

The only song I ever wrote.

I love to breathe
While I’m with you
I love to smile
When I’m talking to you.

I love the air
When it’s got your smell
I love the sky
When it’s over your head.

I love the stars
They remind me of you
I love the lake
It gives me a shadow of you.

I love the flowers
They talk of our love
I love the taste
When you kiss me sweetheart.


Oh baby I love you.
Oh baby I love you.
I love myself
When I’m with you.

Open Door or closed?

At death's door

Once more.

Yet another part of me dies.

The silence that engulfs the tomb of my love

Is taking me towards the darkness again.

How many more blighting assessments?

Hasn’t the countdown begun as yet?

I’m sick of it. The pain, infact, seems to live with me now.

Shares every breath with me, the darned witch.

I’m starting to learn to cut the winds of wretch.

Starting to unfold my wrinkles of misery.

Starting to learn how to dry my eyes.

Starting to pink it again, the walls of my heart.

And it happens quickly.

The rain sets in again. I start to feel the cool.

But why cannot the sunshine be with my shadow?

They have this tiff which smothers me.

I wanna be blithe, you know.

And I wanna be in fine feather.

I wanna have the ace in my hand.

Wish I stand up with every lightening that abashes me to the earth.

Wish I could live staunch with the scars.

Wish I could have a life I can never have.

My Love's lovely love

He wakes me up

With his sunshine smile,

He takes me to

The fairy world for a while,

He kisses me like crazy

And makes me sigh,

He makes me grow

Wings to fly,

He sings me songs

With his voice so sugar,

He pretends to be

In awe with my figure,

He fills me with joy

Upto the brim,

He makes me love

Myself, my life and him!

Breakup Part 2

Its strange...this feeling...

Are you as empty inside as me?

I pretend all the bliss...

All I want is to miss and to be missed.

Are you, too, sad and yearning inside?

Or are you all done with keeping my things aside?

Do you miss the laugter, the peace, the fights?

Do you weep yourself to sleep every night?

Does everything around reminds you of me?

Or are you alrerady trouble free?

I know every bit of this will go...

Your dead love will kill my love so...

All I really wanna ask...

How long will this pain last?

Does it hurt as much as it does to my heart?

Is it not worth a new start?

Tell me one thing I wanna know but can't see...

Sweety, are you over me?

:)

Never thought a song like this would influence me so much.

This and air.

Stays with me.

Maanga jo mera hai...

Jaata kya tera hai...

Maine kaun si tujhse jannat maang lee!

Kaisa Khuda hai tu,

Bas naam ka hai tu,

Rabba jo teri itni si bhi na chali!

My anguish lies between the offset of summer and the arrival of spring;

My wondering belongs to the aeon of between.

Why was I the witness of a shine and a lush leaf?

I wanted winter. I wanted Me. I wanted him.

...It is when you can't sleep. When you keep thinking about him. When you relate songs to moments spent with him. When you start smiling out of the blue. When you keep looking at his pictures. Keep wondering what he's like. Day-dream of meeting him. It is, when you're hurt. When you want him to be there for you all the time. It is when you experience jealousy for any matter. It is there. It is love.

He.

That’s all that matters– to him and me.

He reaches me like a tiny glint.

In the vindictive shadows of eerie reminiscences!

So full of himself, so quenched!

In his vicinity I’m a mile away

From qualms and murky pains.

His snicker is the sand of bliss.

His swear- an endearing feat.

None can get over his tone-

When he wants something and mopes for it.

It’s not viable for you to plead your case.

That smile could bring slaves of Athens to verve.

Obstinate enough to make you solicit,

Too much for himself to contain.

He owns me- this clueless charmer.

Opaque

Sparkling from the sinister night-
A spoon of condemned smile
A gulp of sore water,
Touching the withered skin of my hands.
The sigh of the forlorn bird-
Far away in some distant land,
Surrendering to the loss of the new born
Still it has music of its own.
The question hangs in the secured air.
There have been eons; none like this.
Trickling down my eyes some balmy fluid;
Still no liberation from the jinxed knots.
Time is dancing a massacre of its own.
Ever-lasting-the silhouette of doom;
I call for a glimmer of optimism.
But there’s zilch. There will be zilch.

A bucket of blood.

Dad’s in the hospital. This is the third time since last month that we took him to the emergency. This time and the last time, it was me who decided he should be rushed to the hospital. He was shivering today, in the afternoon, at about 2. Shivering and unconscious. And he had these purple semi-circles on his eye-lids. Last time was more difficult. I saw him vomit blood. A bucket of blood.

I think I’m never going to forget the dream I saw that morning. Early Monday morning, the 2nd of February. I saw a lady, a holy lady, one who looked like Mother Teresa in the same adornment. My selfish instinct, I asked her, Will I be fine? She replied, “Oh yes! You’ll be okay.” The next question did surprise me a bit, “Will ma be okay?” She put a divine smile on her face and it glowed, “yes honey, God will take good care of her.” And then came the Big question, “My dad will be alright, na?” And she smiled. I was shouting, “Will he be okay?” She smiled. I shouted again. And then there was darkness. I can never forget that smile, it haunts me sometimes. I woke up with a bang on my door. The bang marked the pandemonium. I then knew he was never going to be the same.

I love my Dad.
It took me a world to type these three words. My dad has been my life support system. No words. Simply no words to describe what he is for me. Never in his life did he tell anyone that he was in pain. By no means, in no way. But I know his suffering had augmented severely since the last month. But he’d never tell. What took all of me was the way he used to look at me. He told me he didn’t want pain no more.

I miss my dad. Now he’s nothing but pain. His pain, my pain, our pain.

Back to the Scratch...

Once again Life has brought me to an exit. Yes, yes there’s a door too. I always knew this would happen, didn’t I? I’ll get over things, who doesn’t? But why in a convoluted way? Why can’t things be simple for me? I feel like I’ve been scuffling with a number of issues at the same time. Nothing new. I think it’s perfect. Let’s just give life the throw this time. I haven’t been able to set the air my way anyways! I think I’ll just go where it takes me. Getting hurt is a habitual feat now. Arising from the marred has been the same. Let the flute play. Let love come along again. Don’t I just love being in love?!