Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Borrowed love.

Tonight I see no light,
Tonight is the night of sheer despair.
You know I've been walking through this tunnel
Since a long time now, through thin, cold air.

I see no path my feet can take.
I see no hands to guide, I see no friend.
I see no love, no sight of lush.
Now that my struggle has come to an end.

I see only dark, sorry and pain.
Tonight I ask you to lend me your eye,
Tonight I ask you to hold my hand,
To take me in your arms, and ask me to cry.

Be my knight, salt away me from my doom,
Give me some love, show me some care,
Embrace me in your arms and say-
"Baby, life's not been fair."

The things you did.

To the best mother in the whole world.. you hold my heart forever..

I don't know where to start from. Why? I have no idea. I have no idea about everything these days. And I don't have ears enough, or, nears enough. I remember images of you. Working in the kitchen, oiling my hair, making me study, scolding me, hugging me, kissing me, singing me to sleep, taking me places and what not!

It's terrible, ma. Life without you. Im just running away from the reality. Sometimes I pretend this is all a dream, and the moment i open my eyes, I'll find you sitting there in your room waiting for me to wake up. I miss your odor ma. I miss your voice. I miss those windy nights when tamarind branches would strike our windows. I miss your judgment, ma. The way you made me wear things you liked and I hated. The way you made me independent.

Why didn't you teach me how to live without you? Why didn't you ask me to take all the responsibilities and grow up before age? Whose fault is it that I am no good anymore? That I cant take it?

And why the heck did you love me so much? Why couldn't you just send me to a darn hostel and never ask me to come back?
Why were you so proud of me, ma? Why did you appreciate me so much? Why did you admire every little worthless thing I did? Why did you tell the world how responsible and able I was?

I loved the way you teased me. I loved the way you asked me if I had a boyfriend. I loved the way you asked me if I was going out on a date.

It's not fair that I face it all alone. It's not fair. I hate you mom. I hate you for making me do this. I hate you for leaving me alone. I hate you for making me grow up. I hate you for taking away all the happiness from my life.

And I hate you for making me realise what you meant to me. That I can never be happy the way I was.

Ive seen you die, baby. Ive seen you going ill. Ive seen the fear in your eyes. Ive seen your spirit fading, your strength smoothing. Nothing more in life can bother me more. Still, every time
I looked at you, I prayed to God that all I want in life is to see your face every morning and night. I have no idea how I'd spend my life. Whether I'd fulfill your expectations or not. Whether I'd make up to your standards or not.

People say I resemble you. I know I don't. I cannot be even half of the fine of a lady that you were. There were so many things you were doing to teach me ma, wheres the deal?

I cannot say stuff. I cannot speak to people. I cannot tell what I'm going through. How you cared, sweety! How you knew I had a problem!

All I want from you is to come in my dreams every night. Or.

Saturday, March 20, 2010


It is just like the time after it rains. The feeling right after your thirst is quenched. You look into his eyes and you think the world is alright. Your soul seems to wake up when he calls your name. You tell yourself hundred thousand times that you have nothing but hatred for him, but its there, the tiny little feeling in your very own rebellious heart that tells you, you still care. That feeling makes you reach out to him setting apart all ego and grudges. And when he comes to you, you forget the world, you forget yourself. And then, its like you're beyond living a dream. You think you can take over life and face all the blizzards. You know such a person? Go grab him. You lost such a person?
Go grab him.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Pieces of my heart

It started with you.
Sleep and rise,
You were always with me.
Staring at me with those lovable eyes.
Leaving me tingled,
With feathered fires.
You entered my dreams.
You raided my desires.
The way you made me feel bold,
And held, and cared for.
Your fingers touching mine,
Always left me craving for more.
Then the day your lips touched mine-
They say you're taken to another world.
You owned me right there.
You captured my heart. Left me curled.
There was no way out.
I wanted your warm pool of love.
I wanted you more. More of them charms.
Wanted those hands on my waist forever.
Wanted that hold, those strong arms.
And then one day I found myself,
Walking along that snow laid path,
Cold and miser, alone and in pain,
On my heart were signs of your rose wrath.
My sun was born again with your sunshine face,
And you walked me with baby steps.
I was alive again with your trace,
I was madly in love with you, you see.
My world turns around, my tears find their way,
And my blisters turn green, my miseries laugh.
Every time you say you're my friend,
Don't you see love, I can never have you half.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

My love.

One day baby,

made me realise.

One day, sugar, to open my eyes.

We don't fall in love sweet,

We only rise.